Following growing concerns that Britons may be saving too much money and developing unhealthy levels of financial security, Chancellor Rachel Reeves has announced a bold plan to slash the annual cash ISA limit from £20,000 to £12,000—a move experts warn could have catastrophic consequences for the nation’s mortgage rates and people’s ability to hoard money.

Financial sector leaders reportedly huddled in Westminster, anxiously speculating on the fallout from what one building society chief described as “the biggest blow to sensibly tucking away cash since the invention of avocado toast.”

“If the public can’t gleefully stash away £20,000 tax-free, their only option will be to recklessly pay off their mortgages early or, heaven forbid, invest in commemorative Beanie Babies,” warned Judith Spondulix, Chief Savings Officer at FairyGodmother Bank. “We could see mortgage rates soar as lenders scramble to make saving appear as unattractive as possible.”

Economists predict further chaos among Britons who must now choose between saving less and blowing their entire yearly cash surplus on electric scooters and limited edition air fryers. “It’s a slippery slope,” said Ulrich Penniless of the Centre for Sensible Hoarding. “Today it’s a lower ISA limit, tomorrow it’s compulsory subscriptions to OnlyFans.”

A spokesperson from the Treasury remained firm, stating: “The government’s priority is to prevent a dangerous savings glut and keep Britons living paycheck to paycheck, like nature intended.”

Meanwhile, mortgage lenders are reportedly proposing a new ‘Spare Change Fee,’ ensuring no penny escapes un-mortgaged.