DUBAI—An exhibition tennis match billed as the long-awaited solution to society’s gender debate has left fans feeling disappointed, as Nick Kyrgios’ straight-sets victory over Aryna Sabalenka failed to usher in a new utopian era. Organizers of the ‘Battle of the Sexes’ event expressed confusion after the outcome failed to eliminate sexism, raise IQs, or determine which half of the population should do the laundry.

“My ticket promised me the definitive answer to the gender wars,” said Dubai resident Petra Malkovich, who left the stadium early to tweet in all caps about the ‘ultimate betrayal’. “Instead, I saw a famous man beat a famous woman and now I have more questions than ever. Like, do I pay for my own dinner now, or what?”

Sources say many fans demanded refunds after Kyrgios sent Sabalenka packing in just over an hour, calling the match “pointless” and “not even as sexy as the name suggested.”

“The real battle of the sexes is trying to get my husband to put his socks in the hamper,” said local attendee Maysoon Al-Jabari, “but apparently that can’t be solved with forehands and grunting.”

Reached for comment, the event’s promoter, Viktor Smirnov, remained optimistic: “We’re already planning next year’s breakthrough: Federer versus the entire cast of ‘Mamma Mia!’ in a doubles free-for-all. This time, civilization as we know it WILL be redefined.”

At press time, international relations experts confirmed that neither world peace nor equitable childcare arrangements had been achieved, though Kyrgios did gain three new Instagram followers.