WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a dramatic escalation of the nation’s war on Midwestern politeness, the Trump administration announced Friday it was suspending $129 million in federal benefit payments to Minnesota, after uncovering what it called “rampant, coordinated nice fraud” perpetrated by local non-profits and businesses too friendly to be trusted.

Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins personally shared a sternly worded letter via social media, addressed to Governor Tim Walz and Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey, explaining that investigations had revealed “a persistent pattern of fraud conducted with an alarming level of Minnesota Nice.”

“Frankly, when we see organizations apologizing after every transaction, returning unspent funds, and offering to help us with our own investigations, we get suspicious,” said Rollins. “No one is that generous without an agenda.”

Local non-profit director Barb Swenson defended her organization’s actions. “I thought we were supposed to offer extra hotdishes and say ‘you betcha’ to federal auditors. Isn’t that the American way?” she asked, while handing Rollins a freshly baked pan of tater tot casserole.

The investigation allegedly began after an anonymous whistleblower reported overhearing a state employee say “oh, go ahead and take a little more, don’tcha know,” during a benefits distribution, an act USDA officials have labeled “a textbook case of Minnesota over-kindness.”

White House spokesperson Dirk Flanigan confirmed the administration would only reinstate payments once Minnesota provides “clear evidence of at least one act of open rudeness.” Flanigan warned, “Until then, we simply cannot trust these folks with large sums of taxpayer money. They’re just too darn pleasant.”