WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an electrifying House judiciary committee hearing Thursday, former special counsel Jack Smith revealed that his investigation into Donald Trump’s efforts to overturn the 2020 election produced such a mountain of evidence that even the valet staff at Mar-a-Lago started practicing their own closing arguments.

“As I testify today, I would like to reiterate that this was not a close call,” Smith stated, rifling through what witnesses described as ‘comically large’ stacks of binders, folders, and napkin doodles. “Frankly, if there were more evidence, it would have started testifying on its own volition.”

Republican committee members expressed skepticism. Representative Jim Jordan asked, “If there’s so much proof, why doesn’t my uncle Tony believe it?” To which Smith dryly replied, “I can only indict so many people at once, Congressman.”

In a surprising turn, several members of Trump’s former inner circle appeared remotely to offer their opinions. Rudy Giuliani, speaking from what appeared to be an Arby’s parking lot, declared, “There’s no evidence except for the evidence they have, which is inadmissible because I said so.”

Meanwhile, a visibly tired committee stenographer was seen furiously typing as Smith listed out the “987 overt acts, 13,000 incriminating texts, and a mysterious trail of Big Mac wrappers leading from the Oval Office to the nearest paper shredder.”

At press time, Smith announced that further evidence would be released pending the declassification of 14 more White House dry-erase boards and one very stressed Domino’s delivery driver.