Big Daddy's Truth Factory

Latino Entrepreneurs Furious to Discover Trump’s Economy Not Accepting Pesos or Empanadas as Legal Tender

According to recent polls, Latino small business owners who once boosted Donald Trump’s economic comeback are now expressing deep disillusionment, having discovered with shock that the U.S. dollar remains the only accepted currency in Trump’s America—and that empanadas do not count as tax write-offs.

“When I heard about Trump’s economic boom, I assumed at least half of my rent could be paid in tamales,” said Enrique López, owner of the Miami-based López y Limonada. “Turns out, my landlord still wants cash. What kind of growth strategy is that?”

The change in sentiment comes as more Hispanic entrepreneurs report that Trump’s economy, while robust in campaign speeches and select tweets, has so far failed to deliver on promises of zero-percent interest loans for anyone who can salsa. Maribel Sanchez, who runs El Jefe Burrito in Houston, described feeling misled. “I was told there would be so much winning, but apparently it doesn’t include free guac for small businesses. We’ve had to cut back to charging for extra queso.”

Republican strategists are reportedly concerned. “We expected loyalty just for mentioning tacos during rallies,” said GOP advisor Chad McGrath. “Nobody told us we’d actually have to create policies.”

Despite the souring mood, some supporters remain undeterred. “Maybe next time he’ll make the peso great again, too,” said Orlando Vega, who sells piñatas shaped like economically literate elephants.

As the midterms approach, experts warn that unless the administration accepts churros as collateral, it may face stiff competition from parties offering at least complimentary horchata.

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