VAL D’ISÈRE, FRANCE—In a development that has left both the scientific and competitive skiing communities reeling, 41-year-old Lindsey Vonn clinched her second World Cup downhill victory of the season this weekend, stirring speculation that she is quite literally aging in reverse.

Spectators at the event reported seeing Vonn sprint past 20-something competitors as if she had “mistaken the finish line for happy hour,” before throwing up her hands and reminding the crowd to “respect their elders, and by that I mean me, but, like, a younger me.”

“Frankly, we’re baffled,” said Dr. Gerard Dupont, spokesman for the Federation of International Skiing. “Her joints appear to be making collagen at rates not seen since puberty. At this point, we’re monitoring for signs she may revert to a toddler mid-race.”

Vonn herself appeared unfazed by her preternatural performance. “People keep asking me about my regimen,” she told reporters. “It’s just lots of napping and yelling at kids to get off my lawn—classic training.”

Some fellow athletes were less than thrilled. Clara Schmidt, age 17 and fifth-place finisher, commented, “At this rate, in a few years, she’ll be competing in the U14 division. We can’t win.”

Olympic officials have reportedly commissioned a task force to determine whether the 2026 Games should include a separate division for those “defying linear time.”

For now, the world waits to see if Vonn will show up to the next race in roller skates, riding a tricycle, or perhaps crawling—but still somehow winning.