NEW YORK, NY — The entire nation was reportedly gripped with suspense Monday morning as local tech enthusiast Eric Dalton weighed the life-altering decision of whether to install a glossy or matte screen protector on his newly purchased Nintendo Switch 2. According to sources close to the case, Dalton spent approximately 12 hours reading consumer reviews, unboxing videos, and ancient scrolls deciphered from Reddit.

“If I screw this up and get the wrong one, it could impact my enjoyment of Mario Kart for years,” Dalton confided to reporters, his trembling hands hovering over an $8.99 amFilm OneTouch two-pack and a $34.99 Dbrand Prism 2.0. “Glossy lets the colors pop but what if a single fingerprint haunts me forever? Can I even call myself a gamer then?”

Market analyst Cheryl Driscoll confirmed that this kind of decision now rivals home ownership in terms of societal pressure. “Statistics show that the average American spends more time researching Switch 2 screen protectors than selecting a pediatrician for their child,” Driscoll explained. “It’s a $14.7 billion industry driven primarily by existential dread.”

Meanwhile, Dalton’s roommate, Mark, expressed concern over the mounting tension. “He’s on his seventh installation attempt,” Mark said, pointing to a graveyard of used screen protectors and alignment trays littered across the living room. “We’re all just hoping he finds closure before next fiscal quarter.”

At press time, Dalton was seen holding a magnifying glass to his Switch screen, searching for microscopic bubbles, and texting his mother for advice.