In a move that experts say will shape the fate of America’s collective sense of purpose, both the Amazfit Active 2 fitness tracker and assorted 4K Blu-rays went on sale this weekend, leaving millions of consumers paralyzed between becoming ‘healthier people’ or finally tackling that three-year-old Inception watchlist.

The Amazfit Active 2, which now retails for the ego-shattering sum of $84.99, is being hailed as ‘the last hope’ for anyone who likes to imagine themselves running before ultimately watching Scarface in their pajamas. “The price point is so affordable, I almost feel obligated to change my life in some vague way,” said local shopper Janet Brewster, pictured googling what exactly ‘VO2 max’ means.

Yet, with Amazon also offering a deal on Blu-rays—three films for the price of one DoorDash order—America’s resolve is being sorely tested. “I keep flipping between my shopping carts at Best Buy and Amazon,” confessed IT manager Dale Morrison. “If I get the fitness tracker, I might gain six more steps per day. If I buy The Thing in 4K, I can procrastinate my physical transformation in ultra-high definition. It’s a win-win-lose.”

Best Buy’s spokesperson, Trevor Gillings, added, “We’ve never seen this level of existential agitation. Customers are literally power-walking to the checkout—sometimes while adding snacks to their carts for the Blu-ray marathon.”

Meanwhile, sales of the Anker Nano Charger with a built-in display soared among consumers desperate to monitor something, anything, in real-time. “I don’t even know what it’s charging,” admitted Samantha Li, “but at least I feel like I’m making progress.”