MIDDLETOWN, CT — Local officials declared a state of gentle emergency this week as hordes of Hallmark Channel enthusiasts poured into Connecticut’s quiet villages, clutching outdated maps and frantically searching for townsfolk to deliver meaningful life lessons.

Inspired by the newly launched Connecticut Christmas Movie Trail, which highlights over 22 scenic filming sites, visitors from across the country have swarmed the area in hopes of witnessing spontaneous snowball fights or, at minimum, a brooding local baker with a complicated past.

“I’ve camped outside this post office for three days, waiting for my meet-cute with a plaid-wearing single dad,” said Judy Rangel, who flew in from Omaha. “All that’s happened is I received an actual piece of mail. It was deeply confusing.”

Business owners report being overwhelmed by requests for urgently needed gingerbread house kits and mysterious family heirlooms. “We had a lady demand to see our attic, just to check for time-travel portals,” said Samir Patel, owner of Thompson General Store. “She bought six peppermint candles and a snow globe before apologizing for not finding any Christmas magic.”

Local resident Edna McCallum, 83, says she’s been stopped five times this week by tourists insisting her cozy scarf means she’s secretly Santa. “They keep asking if I have a lesson about the true meaning of Christmas,” she sighed. “I just tell them it’s seventy-nine cents per pound at the supermarket.”

State officials urge visitors to temper expectations, reminding them that not every gazebo is a harbinger of romance, and that, regrettably, the mayor is not always a rugged widower with soulful eyes.