In a bold step forward for entertainment unity, Netflix and Warner Bros. have announced their earth-shattering deal will soon require all televisions to automatically play the iconic Netflix “tudum” sound every time they’re powered on—regardless of what the user actually wants to watch.

Industry insiders say the agreement guarantees every Samsung, LG, and even vintage Sylvania TV enthusiast will be greeted with a compulsory 12-second audio-visual celebration of streaming synergy before being granted access to trivial luxuries like live sports or news. The deal, insiders note, also mandates that all future TV remotes feature not only a Netflix button, but also a dedicated “Rewatch ‘Stranger Things'” panic switch for emergencies.

“Our goal is to make the Netflix experience so seamless you have no choice but to experience it,” said Miranda Hertzfeld, Vice President of Remote Synergy at Netflix. “We think people will learn to love the opening tones, much like Pavlov’s dogs, but with more binge-watching and snack wrappers.”

Consumer advocates are less enthused. “I tried to turn on my TV to catch the weather, and suddenly Winona Ryder is yelling at Christmas lights,” said Travis Linklater of the Association for Remote Dignity. “The button labels are all just Netflix now. One’s for the homepage, one’s for trending, and one orders a pizza from Stranger Things-themed Domino’s.”

Asked about possible pushback, Warner Bros. VP of Strategic Annoyance, Lyle Haberman, was chipper: “We see this as a win-win. You get to enjoy Netflix, and we get to entrench ourselves deeper into the very fabric of your living room. Resistance is futile.”

Sources confirmed early prototypes of the new remote also emit a small electric shock if you attempt to open the Hulu app.