In a bold repudiation of the present, Chile has advanced ultraconservative lawyer and Trump cosplay enthusiast José Antonio Kast to the final round of its presidential election, setting up a spirited contest against Communist Party candidate Jeannette Jara and leaving citizens wondering if they are hurtling toward 1973 or 1953.

Kast, who finished with an emphatic 24% of the vote, ran on a platform promising to deport the concept of immigration, lock up crime, and build metaphorical and possibly literal walls. His signature pledge to “Make Chileans First, Or Possibly Second If Americans Are Visiting” resonated deeply with voters seeking a return to an era when mail arrived on time and avocado toast was just a dream.

“I really love how Kast mixes old-school authoritarianism with the subtlety of a jackhammer,” said supporter María del Río while waving a flag shaped like a giant necktie. “His promise to replace Congress with a giant tanning bed is exactly the forward-thinking regression we need.”

Meanwhile, Jara assured voters she would “redistribute the means of production and possibly the means of transportation, if bus drivers cooperate.” Communist Party campaign manager Pablo Cobre emphasized, “Chile is ready for full equality, even if it means everyone gets an equal share of disappointment.”

With polls showing the nation evenly split between voters nostalgic for Cold War hostility and those nostalgic for Cold War fashion, Chile stands poised to boldly step backward into the future. Experts predict that regardless of outcome, the economy will become either red or deeply, deeply orange.