SYDNEY — Bondi local Trent McDougall, 30, was arrested Tuesday after allegedly mystifying Australia’s legal system by sending what he described as ‘unfiltered, Aussie honesty’ to federal MP Allegra Spender, following her condemnation of a gathering of people who simply wanted to ‘show off their questionable tattoos.’

Australian Federal Police claim McDougall sent Spender a message described as ‘menacing,’ but McDougall insisted it was merely a ‘spirited suggestion’ that she spend time ‘walking a mile in the jackboots of protesters.’ The arrest has stunned local Facebook groups, who report being under the impression that ‘MP’s inboxes exist exclusively for hate mail, wedding invitations, and pyramid schemes.’

‘I thought MPs wanted to hear our robust opinions,’ said McDougall, who added that ‘freedom of expression only counts if you can make someone’s phone vibrate in terror.’

Legal experts now warn that sending aggressive messages to elected officials is, in fact, illegal, and not part of the national pastime as previously believed. ‘We regret to inform the public that abusive DMs are not a valid form of parliamentary submission,’ said Senior Constable Lisa Bland. ‘The proper channel for complaints remains screaming at the TV.’

Meanwhile, Allegra Spender’s fellow MPs are reportedly drafting legislation to replace their email inboxes with a single overflowing complaint box labelled: ‘Please Yell Here.’

‘We’re thinking about swapping all MPs’ phones for those Fisher-Price models,’ said Parliament IT coordinator Brian Cheeseman. ‘It’s just safer that way.’