In a move that left Washington gasping for breath and several conspiracy theorists fainting from joy, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene announced she would resign from Congress immediately to form the Marjorie Taylor Greene Anti-Marjorie Taylor Greene Resistance Movement—described by insiders as ‘the only enemy powerful enough to stop her.’

The move came just days after Greene, a noted Trump loyalist turned Trump nemesis turned Trump something-or-other, outmaneuvered the former president on the release of the Jeffrey Epstein files, only to toss her victory into the wind like a set of CrossFit weights. ‘I realized the only person standing in the way of saving America was myself,’ Greene reportedly told supporters while unveiling a lifelike cardboard cutout labeled “MTG, Enemy #1.” ‘So I’m taking the fight to her.’

Sources inside the movement say Greene’s first act as leader will be to investigate why Marjorie Taylor Greene keeps undermining the American people. ‘Frankly, I don’t trust her,’ said interim Resistance spokesperson and Greene’s hairdresser, Rick Darnell. ‘But if anyone can take her down, it’s her.’

Former Vice President Dick Cheney, who attended the launch party via hologram, applauded Greene’s courage. ‘It’s about time someone held Marjorie Taylor Greene accountable. For too long, she’s been running amok—usually from herself.’

Meanwhile, Donald Trump weighed in via Truth Social: ‘Marjorie Taylor Greene is a traitor and a hero. I have always stood with her against her and will continue to do so.’

Political analysts warn that the movement may be short-lived: Joseph Q. Republican, chair of the Committee on Spectacular Self-Destruction, noted, ‘It’s a classic case of unstoppable force meets removable object. I give it a week.’