LONDON—After repeatedly failing in lower courts, the Kingdom of Bahrain announced Monday that it would escalate its crusade for the sacred right to covertly install surveillance software on British soil, arguing at the UK Supreme Court that centuries-old doctrines of international law clearly protect a monarchy’s God-given privilege to see what exiles are Googling.

Bahrain’s legal team, flanked by visibly confused interns and a PowerPoint from 2003, insisted that sovereign immunity clearly covers all manner of digital eavesdropping—especially when performed on laptops belonging to pesky dissidents who probably had it coming. “The principle of ‘spying without consequences’ is foundational to our foreign policy,” explained Sheikh Khalid al-Monitor, Bahrain’s acting Minister of National Sneakiness. “Why else become a state if not to enjoy perks like mailbox snooping, minor hacking, and occasional wire-tapping abroad?”

Legal experts were left scratching their heads, unsure if they were witnessing a legal argument or an ambitious audition for next season’s ‘Black Mirror.’ Lord Justice Neville Shrouded-Face, a Supreme Court judge, summarized the novelty of the case: “This is the first time a nation has claimed immunity from basic human decency on purely diplomatic grounds. I, for one, am excited to see how much further international law can be stretched before it snaps.”

Meanwhile, spokespeople from the Embassy of Bahrain expressed confidence in their legal strategy. “If you can’t trust a foreign monarchy to secretly read your emails, who can you trust?” declared press attaché Luluwah Bugtrack. “Besides, we only installed the spyware to keep their computers safe—from themselves.”