ARLINGTON, TX—The NFL community was left collectively breathless Sunday night after Dallas Cowboys special teams player Alijah Clark displayed what sources are calling a “comprehensible display of effort” during the team’s win over the Philadelphia Eagles. Former NFL star Shawne Merriman praised Clark’s hustle in creating a key turnover, an act seen by many analysts as a dangerous precedent for future special teams play.

“I haven’t seen that kind of all-out exertion in at least three seasons,” remarked Fox Sports analyst Vince Klemons, nervously clutching a printout of league safety protocols. “If word gets out that players are allowed to run at full speed, we could see a troubling uptick in…well, football.”

League executives are reportedly in emergency meetings to discuss a potential ban on visible hustle, emphasizing the importance of preserving the NFL’s modern tradition of bare-minimum effort. “We just want to make sure no one’s feelings—or hamstrings—get hurt by excessive displays of athletic energy,” said NFL Vice Commissioner Brent Norridge, who cited studies linking hustle with increased risk of sweating.

Teammates, meanwhile, expressed mixed feelings. “I told Alijah, ‘That’s risky, man. Someone out there might expect us all to try now,’” said Cowboys kicker Trent Blevins, still shaking his head in disbelief. “Next thing you know, coach is going to ask me to run toward the ball.”

As the league investigates the shocking incident, sources say Alijah Clark faces possible discipline, including a mandatory seminar entitled “How to Jog Lightly and Blend In.”