CANBERRA – Treasury officials and government ministers were seen high-fiving each other in Parliament House today after the latest GDP figures revealed an ‘explosive’ quarterly growth of 0.4%. Finance Minister Jim Chalmers hailed the dizzying uptick as evidence that “Australia’s economy is now officially doing jumping jacks.”

Chalmers explained that while annual GDP growth sat at a ‘blistering’ 2.1%, the quarterly result was equally impressive, likening it to “watching grass grow, but with more excitement.” He told reporters, “We’re considering hiring a marching band to parade through the ABS office—if we can fit the whole band into the 0.4% expansion, of course.”

Treasury spokesperson Linda Grapenuts was quick to add, “Never before has 0.4% felt so much like 4%. My superannuation account is practically throbbing.”

Opposition Leader Peter Dutton issued a cautionary statement, warning, “At this pace, Australians can expect to afford an extra twig of broccoli per decade.” Meanwhile, economics professor Dr. Karl Vibrato called for calm: “We should be careful not to overheat the economy. At 0.4%, we’re only one accidental coin toss away from an economic inferno.”

The Labor government has promised to celebrate the historic growth with a special cake that will be 0.4% larger than last year’s. The public is advised to RSVP early—the extra crumb will go fast.