BURBANK, CA — In a reassuring gesture to the entertainment industry, Disney CEO Bob Iger announced Monday that the company’s partnership with OpenAI would “absolutely not threaten creatives,” since ignoring their ideas has long been the responsibility of Disney’s senior management, not a robot.

“We want to be clear: Our new AI will only be used to generate reboot scripts, mediocre dialogue, and the souls of future child stars,” Iger told reporters, adding, “Our human team will continue making the exact same creative decisions you’ve come to tolerate.”

To further quell concerns, Disney issued an internal memo promising that animators, writers, and directors would retain full creative freedom “right up until the AI overwrites their drafts at 2 a.m. with catchier, more algorithm-friendly jokes about talking raccoons.”

“I feel great knowing a supercomputer can churn out a Marvel origin story in 30 minutes,” said Lena Dorsey, a Disney storyboard artist. “That frees me up to focus on drawing more background skyscrapers just slightly differently from the last 27 movies.”

Meanwhile, studio insiders reported that Disney is lobbying for Paramount to win the Warner Bros. Discovery bidding war, with one executive explaining, “If Netflix gets any stronger, we’ll all have to start learning TikTok dances and I simply don’t have the core strength.”

When asked if AI would be trusted with producing the next Star Wars trilogy, Iger responded, “Only if it can promise not to anger anyone on Twitter. So, no.”