PARIS — The French presidency is in crisis after a daring palace insider was caught attempting to swap priceless Elysée Palace silverware for a complete set of holographic Pokémon cards, authorities confirmed Tuesday.

Louis Baguette, 46, formerly the Elysée’s chief silver steward, was apprehended alongside two accomplices after investigators discovered a listing on Vinted offering a ‘lightly used’ gold-plated soup ladle “once touched by President Macron himself” in exchange for a mint condition Charizard card.

Police report the operation may have lasted for months, with up to €40,000 worth of silver and porcelain discreetly funneled from state dinners directly into the hands of nostalgic Gen-Z collectors. “Honestly, we thought someone had just been eating a lot of bouillabaisse,” said palace spokesperson Françoise Fromage. “But then we noticed the President was forced to eat his foie gras with a plastic spork.”

Baguette allegedly boasted about his entrepreneurial activities on Discord, under the username ‘Macron_Magpie.’ “The Elysée has wonderful collectibles,” read one post. “I’ve got 12 candelabras and a first edition Squirtle, who’s laughing now?”

The scandal has rocked Parisian high society. “We always suspected the staff were planning a coup,” said longtime palace butler Jacques Croissant. “We just assumed it would involve pitchforks, not forks with little monograms.”

Pressured for comment, President Macron’s office released a statement urging calm and assuring citizens that, “the Republic will endure—even if dessert now comes on paper plates for the foreseeable future.”