In what financial experts are calling “the most lucrative game of Monopoly ever played,” Oracle co-founder Larry Ellison has pledged a personal guarantee of over $40 billion—and, sources say, the contents of his sock drawer—to support Paramount Skydance’s $108.4 billion bid to acquire Warner Bros Discovery.

“I just want to own every movie I’ve ever streamed while riding my superyacht,” Ellison reportedly told investors, standing atop a barge stacked with gold bullion and original VHS copies of ‘Dirty Dancing.’ “Paramount needed more liquidity, so I’m tossing in my minor Hawaiian island and the keys to my solid gold Tesla.”

Paramount, controlled by the Ellison dynasty, made the extravagant offer after Warner Bros Discovery agreed to a $82.7 billion merger with Netflix, a move that left industry insiders asking if anyone actually understands what any of these companies do anymore. “When I woke up this morning, HBO was owned by Netflix. At lunch, Paramount bought Bugs Bunny. At dinner, Larry Ellison bought lunch,” sighed media analyst Trudy McMuffin.

Meanwhile, Warner Bros Discovery shareholders were urged to reject the bid. “Frankly, we have no idea who owns us at this point,” admitted one anonymous board member. “I think yesterday we were briefly acquired by a cryptocurrency.”

In a last-ditch effort to close the deal, Ellison has also promised to personally star in an HBO reboot of ‘Succession’ where all the characters are played by CGI renderings of himself.