In a bold step for human comfort, Paramount announced Thursday that its highly anticipated blockbuster ‘Legend of Aang: The Last Airbender’ will bravely skip a theatrical release, instead launching directly on Paramount+—thereby sparing millions from the grueling trek to the nearest cinema and the existential horror of putting on pants.

Paramount executives insist that this decision is about “meeting fans where they already are: trapped on their couches, covered in Cheez-It dust, and paralyzed by subscription fatigue.” The film, originally set for a grand October 9th release on approximately 4,000 sticky popcorn-stained screens, will now only be available to those who can remember their Paramount+ login.

“We believe the true spirit of bending the elements is best experienced while bending your spine into a pretzel on your parents’ futon,” stated Paramount+ Chief Innovation Officer Linda K. Bingsley. “There’s just something magical about pressing pause every 16 minutes for a bathroom break or argument about who forgot to close the fridge.”

Not all fans are disappointed. “I would have gone to the theater, but then I remembered it’s 2024 and the only reason I leave my apartment is to check if the sun still exists,” said lifelong Avatar fan Trevor Ong, proudly sporting a blue arrow tattoo, taped on with painter’s tape. Meanwhile, local theater owner Steve Perlman took the news in stride: “Honestly, we just replaced our projector with an espresso machine. Movies are out, lattes are in.”

The release date on Paramount+ is still unclear, but sources predict it will strategically drop one week after everyone cancels their free trial.