After months of wandering power-outage nightmares and existential angst over the prospect of a dead laptop, Americans are rejoicing as Anker’s Laptop Power Bank has triumphantly returned to its Black Friday low of $87.99 at Amazon and Walmart.

“It’s been hard. My family and I have been sharing one charger since Cyber Monday. My son was almost forced to talk to us,” said local mother Denise Farnsworth, clutching her ‘InstaCord’ like a trophy. “Now, thanks to Anker’s 25,000mAh beast, we can scroll in separate rooms again. We are truly #blessed.”

The 600-gram battery, which experts say could theoretically power Cleveland for up to 11 seconds, features two cosmic-grade USB-C ports, a USB-A port, a retractable cable that doubles as a handle, and an LCD display so advanced it has made some Tesla owners weep with envy. “As long as this battery fits in my carry-on, I don’t care if I ever see the sun again,” admitted digital nomad Brad Tuggle. “I haven’t had direct human contact since the last price drop.”

Scientists at MIT are still working to explain how a power bank can both charge four MacBooks and remove stubborn carpet stains, but until then, consumers are content watching tiny bar graphs on its LCD screen. “I attempted to charge my hopes and dreams but the output was too low,” said Verge staffer Riley Crump. “But my phone hit 100%, so I’m ready for anything—except real life.”

Industry analysts predict a brief surge in Wi-Fi-enabled existential crises, followed by a sharp increase in orders for ‘Beefier’ backup power banks, just in case the price ever rises above $88 again.