WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking revelation that has left many Americans wiping sweat from their foreheads, new polling finds that 65% of registered voters now blame the climate crisis for their skyrocketing electricity bills, despite repeated assurances from energy expert Donald J. Trump that global warming is a ‘hoax invented by Big Wind.’

“I tried setting my AC to 62 degrees all summer to cool the Earth, but all I cooled was my checking account,” confessed Doris Littletree, 52, of Plano, Texas. “If global warming keeps costing this much, I might have to take my sweater off indoors.”

The poll, conducted by Yale University’s Department of Statistically Unlikely Results, found that most voters now believe rising sea levels are directly responsible for the price of organic kale and that forest fires may have ignited last year’s Sriracha shortage. Despite the Trump administration’s bold plans to replace all solar panels with inspirational billboards, the public seems unconvinced.

“How can the climate be changing if I still get the same tan lines every summer?” wondered Florida man Buck ‘Beef’ Maxwell, while paddling through his living room. “If you ask me, it’s all a plot by the Weather Channel to boost ratings.”

White House spokesperson Vance Fuelmore dismissed the findings, stating, “The only climate change we support is changing from spring to the Fourth of July. The American people should relax and enjoy the refreshing taste of coal-powered air conditioning.”

With utility rates rising and temperatures breaking records, Americans are reportedly considering turning off their lights for at least three minutes a day—unless a government windmill is spotted nearby.