In a move destined to reshape both physics and corporate communication, Microsoft has announced Majorana 1, a quantum computer so revolutionary that it doubles as a proof of concept for announcing things that, quite literally, do not exist.

“This is a breakthrough,” explained Dr. Linus Fiberoptic, Microsoft’s Chief Futurist and Lecturer in “Advanced Speculation.” “Not only are we exploring entangled particles and topological qubits, but we have also mastered the art of confidently stating we have a physical product without it currently existing anywhere. It’s quantum announcing.”

Majorana 1 joins a proud tradition of Microsoft announcements that stretch the fabric of reality thinner than their software updates. Past milestones include the legendary Flying Pig 3000—heralded as the future of airborne livestock transport—and the Cloud in a Box, a product so abstract it exists only in PowerPoint slides and metaphorical boardroom speeches.

“It’s liberating,” gloated Genevieve Flimflam, Director of Mythical Product Development. “Why stop at quantum breakthroughs when we can quantum leap into a new era of press release fiction? Shareholders love the suspense.”

The unveiling event lasted a staggering six hours, during which no functional prototype was shown, but audience members reported “vivid dreams of infinite computational power and a factory full of metaphorical pigs with wings.” Microsoft insists this is not a bug but a feature of how Majorana 1 operates across multiple realities simultaneously.

Analysts predict competitors will soon follow suit, releasing announcements for “invisible drones,” “self-tying shoelaces,” and “time machines coming in Q5 2027.” Meanwhile, consumers are advised to start preparing for new product launches that may or may not arrive in this dimension ever.

In the grand tradition of quantum physics blurring the line between existence and announcement, Microsoft’s Majorana 1 firmly establishes that in today’s tech world, if you announce it boldly enough, it exists — somewhere, for someone, in some version of the universe.