Despite sweeping international sanctions and Michelin’s solemn vow to stop sending the Kremlin delicious radial tires, customs records now reveal thousands of new aviation tyres have slipped into Russia, most recently disguised as ‘cultural pastry imports.’

Experts say these Michelin-brand tyres, long essential for the Russian aviation industry and for the delicate French snacking rituals of oligarchs, entered through intermediary companies such as UK-based ‘William Tyre & Sons, Bread Division.’ Insiders claim the shipments were marked as ‘long, round artisanal bread products, 100% rubberized.’

‘We take sanctions compliance extremely seriously,’ said Michel L’Escroc, a spokesperson for Michelin’s International Denial Department. ‘We had no idea our tires were being eaten, flown on, or both.’

Russian aviation minister Ivan Tubechykov praised the ingenuity behind the operation: ‘Unlike French croissants, Michelin tires do not crumble on landing. Our pilots have never been happier—or more full.’

Industry watchdog Penelope Spindle of the UK’s Sanctions Enforcement Desk expressed cautious optimism: ‘We’re investigating claims that several Boeing 737s are now bread-certified. Until then, we encourage airports to prepare more butter.’

Nevertheless, Western officials remain concerned that other luxury imports—such as Swiss-engineered jet engines disguised as fondue sets—could be slipping through Moscow’s breadbasket. Meanwhile, sales of Russian aircraft-shaped baguette-slicers have inexplicably soared.