WASHINGTON—In a bold diplomatic gambit Wednesday, Iran’s Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi called on President Donald Trump to defy Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and pursue nuclear negotiations with Iran—sweetening the deal by offering the US president unlimited lifetime access to golf resorts across Tehran and a commemorative bronze statue.

“President Trump is a man who appreciates a good deal and a great green,” said Araghchi in an open letter published simultaneously in The Guardian and, inexplicably, the latest issue of Golf Digest. “Our proposal: real talks, regional peace, and as many rounds on the Tehran National as he can squeeze between indictments.”

Sources close to the Trump White House confirmed the offer is under consideration, with one senior aide remarking, “Frankly, if Netanyahu wants Trump’s attention, he should think about opening a mini-golf course in Jerusalem. Otherwise, he’s at a disadvantage.”

As the US president weighed his options, Netanyahu responded by personally flying to D.C. with blueprints for a putt-putt golf course in the shape of the West Bank. “We believe President Trump’s loyalty can be won hole by hole,” Netanyahu wrote in a statement.

Meanwhile, Araghchi insisted Iran’s military intentions were misunderstood: “We just want to enrich uranium so it glows in the dark for night golfing. Nothing more.”

At press time, Jared Kushner was reportedly seeking to broker a peace deal that includes a glow-in-the-dark Driving Range of Abraham.