WASHINGTON—At a Friday luncheon attended by Republican donor and noted supermarket enthusiast John Catsimatidis, former president Donald Trump revealed that, in what may be either the most decisive military strike of the decade or a routine hallucination, the United States had ‘taken out a very big facility in Venezuela,’ although the exact location, purpose, and existence of the facility remained classified or possibly fictional.

‘We just knocked out this big plant or, you know, it could have been a depot, or a warehouse, or maybe a Venezuelan Dave & Buster’s,’ Trump declared. ‘It was huge, really amazing, everyone’s talking about it. We hit it very hard. The biggest strike ever, many people are saying.’ The Pentagon, in a statement, noted, ‘We are currently consulting with the president’s subconscious for further details,’ adding that ‘all our bases in Venezuela remain exactly where they have never been.’

White House press secretary Lexi McConnell assured reporters, ‘The president is briefed on a wide range of imaginary operations regularly. He remains committed to keeping America safe from facilities both real and hypothetical.’

Mariano Lopez, Venezuela’s chief of National Infrastructure, expressed surprise: ‘We double-checked. All the big facilities are still here. Maybe they meant the abandoned Blockbuster near Caracas? That place did look suspicious.’

When asked for clarification, Trump campaign advisor Rudy Farkas reiterated, ‘The president’s memory is very vivid. He often dreams of strategic strikes on important targets, like the moon landing or his old casino. Either way, it was a very powerful move.’