BUDAPEST—The global film community was plunged into a contemplative haze this week as legendary Hungarian director Béla Tarr, best known for the marathon-length epic Sátántangó, passed away at age 70. In a fitting tribute, the Hungarian Ministry of Culture announced a worldwide 7.5-hour moment of silence, after which no one was entirely sure if it was actually over.

“Out of respect, we ask all cinemas to remain open, lights dimmed, and staff staring bleakly into the middle distance for the duration,” said Minister of Culture Ágnes Éles, as she handed out complimentary rain-soaked trench coats. “We recommend that participants bring snacks and emotional support farm animals.”

Tarr’s fans, many of whom are still waiting for a punchline in his so-called ‘comedies’, described the news as ‘extremely clarifying’. “I came out of Werckmeister Harmonies 14 years ago and I’m just now realizing it was a comedy,” confessed art student Gábor Kovács, blinking into the gray Hungarian light. “The funeral will likely be his shortest work.”

Critics have lauded the director’s passing as ‘an immense loss for the black-and-white, agricultural despair genre’. “It’s hard to find directors brave enough to film mud for 49 continuous minutes,” sighed British critic Persephone Larch. “He will be missed, but—mercifully—my legs will not.”

At press time, all official statements from the family were delivered via static-ridden radio transmission over a distant wind as per Tarr’s will.