Sydney—In a bold demonstration of law enforcement’s commitment to public safety, local police on Sunday detained 53-year-old protester Linda Firth for sporting a jacket emblazoned with the phrase “globalise the intifada,” a combination of words authorities described as “unlawful in spirit, if not in statute.”

Witnesses report that Firth, who was attending a rally against U.S. military intervention in Venezuela, was approached by four officers who reportedly conferred for seven minutes over whether the word ‘intifada’ was an energy drink or a dangerous ideology before making the arrest. “We just thought it sounded a bit spicy,” said Senior Constable Bruce Canning, who read Firth her rights using Google Translate. “We’re operating on a strict new policy: if it sounds menacing, we detain first and figure out the law later.”

Metropolitan Police Chief Samantha Bowler explained the rationale in a press conference, stating, “While there may be no actual law prohibiting edgy jackets, we’re guided by the spirit of Section 34B: Crimes Against Vibes.” She added that officers had been attending weekly seminars on ‘Vibe-Based Policing’ since 2022. “It’s about protecting the emotional landscape of the CBD,” Bowler clarified.

Firth, who maintains she’s not inciting global anything, was released after police failed to locate any legislation targeting her slogan. “Frankly, I’m just upset they confiscated my ‘Free Tibet With Purchase of Any Large Soda’ pin as well,” Firth told reporters.

City officials are now considering new regulations governing the font size and emotional resonance of protest apparel. “We’re not against freedom of expression,” said Deputy Mayor Colin Prisk, “we just prefer it to be less expressive, and ideally, pre-approved.”