PALM BEACH, FL—Wielding his formidable Truth Social account like a whistle on the sidelines, former President Donald Trump leapt into the NFL’s midseason chaos Tuesday, urging all 32 franchises to “hire John Harbaugh, fast,” following the coach’s departure from the Baltimore Ravens. Trump, who has previously offered unsolicited advice on pandemics, hurricanes, and nuclear weapons, announced, “John Harbaugh is a total winner, folks. One of the biggest winners, possibly in all of football, maybe in all of history. Not like those losers who keep kneeling.”

Trump followed up his endorsement with an audible threat, writing, “If NFL doesn’t hire Harbaugh soon, I might have to coach myself. Would win the Super Bowl in my first season, guaranteed. Many people are saying I already have. Tremendous football mind. Ask Belichick.”

NFL owners reportedly took Trump’s statement under advisement. “We always value the input of America’s leading experts on football—especially those whose most recent experience is wrestling a Sharpie across a map,” said Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. “Frankly, we might just let him call plays from Mar-a-Lago.”

Meanwhile, sources confirmed that Harbaugh has already received interview requests, including an unusual outreach from the New York Jets, who, according to insiders, just asked if he knows which end zone their offense should aim for. “We figure if Trump likes him, he’ll at least know how to cause a spectacle,” said Jets GM Joe Douglas. “At this point, we’ll try anything.”

Trump concluded his message with a modest offer to lend Harbaugh a ‘Make Football Great Again’ playbook, containing only Hail Marys and tweets.