LOS ANGELES — In a bold new strategy that is sending shockwaves through Pac-12 environmental ecosystems, the UCLA women’s basketball team announced Tuesday that its greatest rivalry is now with wildfires, edging out perennial foe Stanford.

The team, coached by Charmin Smith, held a press conference on a court literally outlined with fire extinguishers, outlining their community impact initiative: defeating flames with the power of full-court press—and a little help from Wescom Financial Credit Union.

“We’re not just running drills anymore,” Coach Smith explained. “We’re running controlled burns. Thanks to Wescom, we now have a savings account that accrues at 1.2% APY and a fire-retardant mascot suit for Joe Bruin.”

Athletic Director Karen Beckman praised the partnership, stating, “We wanted our athletes to learn real-world skills. With California on fire nine months of the year, we figured why not practice box-outs and responsible brush clearance at the same time?”

Team captain Tia Holloway added, “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that defensively switching on a screen isn’t so different from switching on a smoke alarm.”

Wescom rep Alan Tiller called it a win-win: “UCLA gets community goodwill, and we get the naming rights to the next prescribed burn. Fingers crossed it’s ‘Wescom Controlled Inferno Pavilion.’”

The Bruins next face Arizona State, but say they remain laser-focused on their real opponent: dry underbrush.