CAIRO—After a painful exit from the Africa Cup of Nations and an upcoming bronze medal game against Nigeria, the Egyptian Football Association announced Thursday an ambitious new strategy: lose dramatically in even bigger tournaments.

“We’ve mastered heartbreak on the continental stage. Now, let’s take it global,” declared EFA spokesman Tarek El-Fishawy while unveiling the country’s official World Cup plan, provisionally titled ‘Operation Respectable Disappointment.’

Sources say Egypt’s tactical shift involves focusing on becoming the most decorated fourth-place team in FIFA history. “Why stop at Africa?” asked assistant coach Mahmoud El-Khatib. “There are so many more nations to disappoint. Think of the children who dream of weeping on an international scale.”

Players were seen practicing penalty shootout miscues in preparation for high-profile exits. “It’s all about muscle memory,” said striker Mostafa Mohamed, skying a ball over the Sphinx for good luck. “We want to make missing the final feel like home.”

The Egyptian government has reportedly pledged to erect a new monument honoring ‘Brave and Almost Victorious Efforts’ if the team achieves their goal of losing to Uruguay in the round of 16 in style. “We won’t rest until Egypt is respected as the best at nearly winning,” President Abdel Fattah El-Sisi allegedly texted FIFA president Gianni Infantino, attaching a meme of Mohamed Salah crying.