TALLAHASSEE, FL — In what experts are calling a new front in the War on Online Mean Girls, Florida Attorney General Ashley Moody has demanded that the Nursing Board revoke the license of Orlando nurse Cassandra Polk after Polk wished a “raging third-degree tear” upon Trump campaign press secretary Karoline Leavitt during a TikTok monologue filmed in her break room.

“Florida will not tolerate practicing witchcraft, dark sarcasm, or free-range medical opinions on social media,” proclaimed Moody at a Tuesday press conference, flanked by a crucifix and an extra-large box of gauze. “If nurses are wishing anything besides ‘get well soon,’ we’ll be forced to assume it’s black magic.”

Polk, who insists her video was simply “a little gallows humor after a 12-hour shift dealing with bedpans and election news cycles,” has been placed on administrative leave pending investigation into whether her phone contains additional offensive emojis. The Florida Board of Nursing is considering a new section to its Code of Ethics banning nurses from expressing opinions online, in person, or while thinking really hard.

“Sure, my stitches are always neat, but my TikTok banter’s apparently a health hazard now,” Polk sighed, posting her statement exclusively via interpretive dance.

Political consultant Jeff Harbison warned, “If we let nurses wish injuries on politicians, what’s next? Will veterinarians pray for fleas on lobbyists? Will dentists hope for cavities in PAC donors? It’s a slippery slope to universal healthcare.”

Meanwhile, TikTok user @Floridian_Fury commented, “Honestly, if wishing bodily harm was illegal, half this state would be in jail after hurricane season.”