EDINBURGH—In a devastating blow to international banking security, the Bank of Scotland was fined £160,000 this week after being effortlessly outwitted by the criminal mastermind Dmitrii Ovsiannikov, who successfully opened an account by spelling his name with a creative flair rarely seen outside the world of Scrabble.

Ovsiannikov, a decorated member of Vladimir Putin’s “I Swear I’m Just a Businessman” inner circle, managed to slip undetected through the UK’s robust sanctions system by adding an extra ‘i’ to his first name, reportedly stunning compliance officers into a state of polite confusion. “It’s hard to catch someone when their name is spelled D-m-i-t-r-i-i instead of D-m-i-t-r-y,” admitted Bank of Scotland spokesperson Fiona MacLeod. “Frankly, it’s like witchcraft.”

Authorities say Ovsiannikov used his account to process 24 payments totalling £77,383—enough to buy either a gently-used Lada Niva or eight minutes of London parking. “We simply didn’t have the resources to check for the classic evil twin spelling variant,” said regulatory expert Barry Jenkins. “Our computers melted when the fifth vowel appeared.”

UK sanctions enforcer Euan McTavish called the case a wake-up call. “From now on, we’ll also be watching out for ‘Dimitri,’ ‘Demetri,’ and, if necessary, ‘Dmitriiii,’” he threatened. Meanwhile, the Bank of Scotland has reportedly invested £30 in a cutting-edge anti-aliasing software update—Microsoft Excel 2013.