MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—In a bold move to secure the future of artificial intelligence, Google announced Tuesday a $425 million investment in Redwood Materials, a battery recycling startup, in the hopes of providing AI data centers with enough recycled energy to discover entirely new types of cats and generate infinite lists of brunch spots.

“AI is hungry for power—literal power,” said Google spokesperson Tania Burlap, plugging a neural network into a car battery during a live demonstration. “Our language models won’t just write poems about the sun; with Redwood’s help, they’ll become the sun.”

Redwood Materials CEO Jasper Dross stated the company was “thrilled to partner with Google to ensure the world’s most expensive GPU clusters never have to take a nap.” Dross added that their new battery technology can “keep a large language model producing slightly wrong recipes for up to 47 years off a single recycled vape pen.”

Industry analyst Dirk Flanders expressed concerns about the environmental impact, noting, “Some fear that AI-powered by recycled batteries may simply use that energy to write even more thinkpieces about its own sentience, but honestly, if it reduces landfill, maybe it’s worth it.”

According to documents obtained by The Tech Tribune, Google’s ultimate plan involves using Redwood’s batteries as the foundation for “Project Unresting Mind,” a data center that will one day be able to power itself by endlessly generating and reading terms of service agreements.