In a bold move that experts are calling ‘definitely a move’, President Donald Trump ordered a massive US naval armada toward Iran this week, just days after vowing to both intervene and not intervene in the country, depending which hour of Fox & Friends you tuned in.

‘We are sending the biggest, most tremendous ships. Some of them are submarines, which means they’re invisible, so you know they’re good,’ announced Trump, standing in front of a map of Iran upside down. ‘Time is running out for Iran to do something I haven’t decided yet, but I’d like them to hurry.’

White House Press Secretary Chip Donnelly clarified the President’s position, stating, ‘The administration is committed to both maximum pressure and maximum ambiguity. The President is considering every option, including aggressive hand gestures.’

Sources inside the Pentagon report that the armada’s precise mission is unclear, but Defense Secretary Chad Whitmore confirmed, ‘We are prepared for any scenario, from full-scale invasion to simply hovering menacingly. At a moment’s notice, we can pivot to Operation Stern Glare.’

Meanwhile, Iranian Foreign Minister Saeed Zolfigari issued a statement saying, ‘We will not be intimidated by the American fleet, unless it is accompanied by a strongly worded tweet.’

When asked for comment, Trump added, ‘Look, if Iran sits down and negotiates, I’ll give them a deal so special, they won’t know what hit them. Because it’ll probably be tariffs, or maybe a golden statue of me. We’ll see.’