Following a firestorm of controversy ignited by his attempt at humor, FIFA President Gianni Infantino issued a formal apology to British football supporters for comments in which he suggested that English fans might someday smile at a football match—an idea widely condemned as ‘unrealistic and hurtful.’

“In no way did I mean to insinuate that British fans should ever express joy at a sporting event,” Infantino clarified at a hastily convened press conference outside Wembley Stadium. “I have the utmost respect for the tradition of expressing vague dissatisfaction, no matter the result.”

Infantino’s joke, delivered during a FIFA gala in Zurich, questioned whether British stadiums had ever seen a standing ovation, or if fans were “physically capable of expressing approval without immediately booing the referee.” The comment set off a tidal wave of outrage among various supporters’ groups, with the Manchester United Gloom Society labeling his remarks “the worst thing to happen to football since goal-line technology.”

“Frankly, it’s appalling,” said Nigel Bleak, president of the All-England Sighing Association. “Booing is a sacred rite, passed down through generations. For Infantino to joke otherwise is a slap in the face to miserable people everywhere.”

FIFA has announced a new initiative to provide specialized counseling for anyone traumatized by the remarks. According to Dr. Penelope Haggerty, head of the Institute for Perpetual Underdogs, “Many fans are still recovering from that one time someone in the stands accidentally smiled in 1972. This reopening of old wounds was careless.”

In a gesture of goodwill, Infantino pledged to personally attend matches in Britain, where, he added, “I expect to be booed, cursed, and possibly hit with a meat pie—just as tradition demands.”