NEW YORK—After Disney reported quarterly earnings with all the joyous exuberance of a parade made entirely of accountants, Wall Street analysts responded by setting the company’s price target somewhere between a glass slipper and ‘actively being haunted by Walt’s ghost.’

Morgan Stanley’s Caitlyn Dumont, dressed as Elsa for the conference call, explained, “We’re seeing pressure at the parks and studios, but on the bright side, Frozen 3 can always be a tax write-off. Our target price is $127, or, depending on franchise synergy, the price of a single popcorn bucket at Epcot.”

While Disney CEO Bob Iger performed what market watchers called a “swan song”—which was either a heartfelt financial report or the opening number of Disney On Ice: Q2 Fiscal Review—analysts agreed the market’s reaction was tepid enough to be served at an Orlando concession stand.

“The fundamentals are solid, but there are headwinds,” noted Jefferies analyst Trent Finkel, pointing to a gusty breeze during the call. “The studios are facing stiff competition from both AI-generated content and my nephew’s Roblox channel, which currently outgrosses Pixar by a factor of two.”

Disney fans on Reddit were mixed, with user GoofyGains69 commenting, “I just want them to stop rebooting Cinderella and start rebooting the stock price.”

As shares continue to teeter between Sleeping Beauty’s nap and Nemo’s journey home, Disney’s future remains as unpredictable as a churro’s shelf life in the Florida sun.