WASHINGTON, D.C. — Marking a new era in international diplomacy powered by mutual loathing, President Donald Trump and Colombian President Gustavo Petro concluded months of mudslinging with a surprise bro-hug and matching souvenir Make America Great Again hats at a closed-door White House meeting Thursday.

Despite a public feud characterized by creative epithets—Trump previously dubbed Petro “South America’s Sick Man” and “Kingpin Gustavo,” while Petro fired back by calling Trump “Genocide Grandpa”—the two leaders appeared determined to set aside their differences, if only temporarily, for a cordial photo op. According to sources, the meeting included a ceremonial exchanging of autographed insults and a brief workshop titled “How to Craft the Perfect Twitter Takedown.”

“There’s nothing more American than forgiving after a solid round of creative verbal abuse,” White House press secretary Chad Whitmore explained, adding, “Trump appreciates Petro’s commitment to pushing the boundaries of offensive metaphors. They found a lot of common ground in their shared love of dramatic hyperbole.”

Petro, presented with a customized MAGA cap reading “Make Colombia Grander Again,” told reporters through a locked door, “Trump may be a depraved maniac, but at least he’s not boring. In politics, that’s the real currency.”

Foreign affairs analyst Linda Escobar described the summit as “a deeply moving reconciling of egos. At one point, they tried to one-up each other on who has the most enemies. It was beautiful—like a roast, but with nuclear codes.”

In a joint statement, the two presidents announced the formation of a new global insult exchange program, promising to “elevate diplomatic trash talk to unprecedented levels.”