CANBERRA — In a historic moment for self-reflection, Australia’s major political parties joined hands Thursday to bravely postpone an inquiry into racism and sexism in the Senate, insisting that more research is needed to determine if those words “actually mean anything.”

The bipartisan move was announced after Labor and Coalition senators finished a tense 45-minute debate on whether the Senate itself is, in fact, a Senate. Coalition spokesperson Trent “Socks” Carmichael explained, “We can’t responsibly investigate societal issues until we’re absolutely sure they exist outside of Twitter hashtags and that one time Trevor down in catering misplaced my gluten-free sandwich.”

Labor senator Priscilla Morris praised the united front, noting, “It’s just not the right time to ask if we’re discriminatory, what with so many other important issues, like deciding the font for the new parliamentary menu or finding out who keeps microwaving fish in the staff kitchen. Priorities, people!”

Independent Senator Ivy Blackwell suggested postponing the inquiry until everyone has “finished their Sudoku and the world has generally calmed down about everything.”

Meanwhile, the government announced it will send a special “Crisis Team” to the Middle East, comprised of three interns, two leftover Vegemite jars, and a laminated map of Europe. “We wanted to show solidarity while making sure we don’t get too involved,” said Foreign Affairs Minister Dillon Harvey. “After all, our trade with the region is only $15 billion. That’s, like, almost as much as we spend on parliamentary snacks.”

At press time, the Senate resolved to form an inquiry into how to form inquiries, pending a further inquiry into whether meetings should include espresso.