WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a bold step towards restoring American values, former president Donald Trump called on the Federal Communications Commission to “swiftly punish” NBC’s Kristen Welker for her flagrant use of factual statements during a live broadcast, witnesses confirmed Sunday.

Welker, the host of “Meet the Press,” was caught describing Trump’s endorsement record as “mixed” during a segment aired on Washington’s NBC affiliate. Trump, a noted advocate for consistent and unswerving praise, immediately urged the FCC to issue a “firm rebuke, or at the very least, 30 days of forced Sean Hannity reruns.”

“We can’t have reporters out here recklessly communicating to the American people that my track record is anything but the best anyone’s ever seen,” Trump said to a crowd of loyal rally-goers, many of whom were still unclear about what the FCC actually does. “Next, they’ll be saying the sky is sometimes cloudy. Outrageous!”

FCC spokesperson Chip VanDruff assured the public that all programming would henceforth be monitored for signs of uncontrolled journalism. “We have officially added ‘saying things Donald Trump dislikes’ to our list of prohibited broadcasts, right between profanity and excessive N’Sync music,” VanDruff confirmed.

When reached for comment, NBC said in a statement, “We regret any distress caused by our accidental airing of factual analysis and have retrained our staff to stick to weather updates and cooking segments.”

Meanwhile, First Amendment scholars are reportedly studying the situation with keen interest, or in Trump’s words, “plotting to write another nasty book about me.”