SEATTLE, WA — In an exciting move sure to leave viewers questioning the difference between entertainment and corporate synergy, Amazon Prime Video unveiled its list of 2025 must-watch shows, headlined by ‘Reacher (Season 3): More Punching,’ and at least six new Reacher spin-offs, including ‘Reacher’s Cousin: Clarence,’ and ‘Reacher: The Animated Musical.’

Executives promise even deeper, more emotionally taut stories this year. “Our research shows that viewers crave watching giant men walking into diners and saying ‘black coffee, leave the pot,’” said Talia Brewster, Amazon’s Head of Content Strategy. “So we’re doubling down on that—sometimes tripling down. There’s an episode with three Reachers ordering coffee simultaneously.”

Not to be outdone by its own original content, the service’s boldest new series, ‘Prime Delivery Live!,’ streams actual Amazon drivers as they attempt to locate apartment 4B while enduring existential dread and the neighbor’s pug. Early reviews call it “more gripping than ‘The Boys.’”

Amazon is also rolling out ‘Fallout: Post-Apocalypse Bake-Off’ and ‘Invincible: The Tax Season,’ promising more high-octane drama and awkward Zoom calls with superhero CPAs. “We know viewers want gritty realism,” said showrunner Doug Flanders. “Tax audits build universes just as much as supervillains.”

Subscribers who can’t keep up with the relentless content drop are encouraged to watch ‘The List: 2025,’ a new show in which Alexa reads aloud every new show on Prime Video for 11 straight hours. Regular Prime Video user Karen Fontana is excited: “I remember when Prime was just for shipping. Now I have 47 shows about Reacher. I’ve never felt more overwhelmed or fulfilled.”

At press time, Amazon was rumored to be developing ‘Unboxing: The Show About People Unboxing Prime Video Shows.’