This season on ‘Merica, F**k Yeah!!, will the Oligarchs take full control of the US government or will King Trump reign supreme? The drama unfolds as the Supreme Court and Congress have so graciously abdicated all their power—handing over the reins to former President and now self-declared Monarch Donald J. Trump. In a historic bipartisan nod to irrelevance, both branches agreed last Tuesday to dissolve their legislative and judicial duties via a simple tweetstorm from Trump’s official “King of America” account.

The US Constitution? Oh, that’s now being repurposed as a multi-purpose kitty litter tray, prominently placed on Trump’s Mar-a-Lago coffee table, next to his signed golf balls and unopened ‘perfect’ Wall plans. Legal scholars report evidence of smushed constitutional text beneath multiple paw prints belonging to Ivanka’s teacup chihuahuas, symbolizing the new-found sacredness with which the founding document is revered.

“The Supreme Court just tweeted, ‘Were good. King Trump has this,’ which we here at the Institute for Modern Political Absurdity found both profound and mildly concerning,” said Myrtle T. Wobblebottom, Chief Analyst of Governmental Nihilism. “Congress has apparently outsourced all decision-making to Mar-a-Lago staffers, who are reportedly more responsive to Trump’s Twitter cadence than any polling data.”

Meanwhile, King Trump’s royal decree includes daily pardons for anyone named ‘Steve’ and banning the word “democracy” in official government communications, which have since been replaced with “oligarchy” or possibly “monigarchy,” pending final semantic review by advisors Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump, unofficial court historians.

Political insiders reveal the last vestiges of American checks and balances were auctioned off with the Smithsonian’s Civil War collection to fund a never-ending Trump rally tour titled “Make the Kingdom Great Again.” The US is now officially an Olinarchy or Monigarchy, depending on which day Trump tweets, leaving citizens to wonder if they should bow, cheer, or just stream the event live with popcorn at hand.

American democracy may be dead, but the Olinarchy—or is it Monigarchy?—is very much alive and tweeting.