LAS VEGAS — In a breakthrough that tech analysts are calling “the single most pressing innovation since the mouse pad,” Anker has debuted the world’s first charger with a built-in color display, allowing users to closely monitor their device’s charging status instead of, say, going outside.

Dubbed the Anker Nano Charger 45W HyperSmart (With Screen), the $39.99 device features a vivid display that not only shares power flow and temperature, but also gently reminds users that, yes, you are still charging your phone—a process famously renowned for its edge-of-your-seat excitement.

“Now, I no longer have to guess if my iPhone 17 Pro is at 31% or a thrilling 32%,” said tech blogger Travis Bosco, who has already live-tweeted 16 consecutive charging sessions since receiving his review unit. “Sometimes I just watch the numbers tick upward for hours. My wife left me, but I know my USB-C voltage intake.”

The charger also boasts a ‘Care Mode,’ which manufacturers claim lets users double-tap to lower temperatures at night, letting anxious insomniacs lose sleep over both battery health and existential dread. “We’re proud to introduce an immersive charging experience,” said Anker spokesperson Lila Hsu. “Our data shows that 87% of households long for more opportunities to stare at an inanimate object’s temperature in real time.”

Critics of the new tech, like rival adapter designer Phil Mendez, have voiced concerns. “Honestly, I just want a charger to charge my phone. But, hey, I guess there’s an audience for people who want to know their iPad Pro’s wattage like it’s a pet hamster.”

Despite the $29.99 promotional code, Anker has warned that the charger may display ‘minimal information’ for anything not manufactured in Cupertino, confidently reinforcing iPhone users’ sense of superiority.