DENVER—As the Denver Broncos prepare for Sunday’s AFC Championship game, the team’s hopes rest on the arm of backup quarterback Chad Kipling, a man whose last meaningful NFL activity involved holding a clipboard and occasionally Gatorade for Peyton Manning in 2014. Kipling, 35, last threw a pass in a competitive NFL contest when streaming live video meant using Vine, and ‘deflategate’ was the league’s biggest controversy.
Despite his extended on-field sabbatical, Broncos head coach Vic Farnsworth expressed “complete faith” in Kipling’s ability to find game rhythm after 721 days of not throwing a football in public. “Chad has been invaluable to us on the sideline—his hand-warming technique is second to none. Honestly, it’s like having Tom Brady’s gloves in a guy’s body,” Farnsworth said. “He’ll do fine so long as the Patriots don’t pick up on his favorite play: the quick spike.”
Kipling, who reportedly spent the last two seasons running a successful dog-walking startup and selling essential oils at farmer’s markets, says he’s “excited to remember what a helmet feels like.” “I’ve been mentally preparing for this moment by watching YouTube highlights and playing a lot of Madden 2016,” Kipling told reporters, squinting at his playbook. “I think I remember most of the rules.”
Wide receiver Jerry McCracken, asked about his chemistry with Kipling, replied, “We’ve texted a couple times, and I think he once threw me my car keys, so we’re good.”
The NFL confirmed the game will proceed as scheduled, but have arranged an on-site CPR team “just in case anyone has a Y2K-style fit of nostalgia.”

