CHICAGO—NFL rookie and noted Wi-Fi skeptic Caleb Williams found himself at the center of a technological controversy Monday night after legendary commentator Joe Buck revealed the quarterback missed not one, but two scheduled ESPN pregame meetings, blaming an increasingly suspicious case of ‘eternal buffering.’

According to Buck, the Bears’ new franchise savior never showed up to the requisite Zoom interviews meant to prepare for Monday Night Football. ‘We sat on that Zoom call for so long, I grew a beard,’ Buck lamented. ‘At one point, we thought he might be joining from Mars. Turns out, he was just on TikTok.’

Williams, however, maintains that he made every possible effort to connect. ‘I logged onto something called ESPNmeetings.biz.net,’ he told reporters while sipping what appeared to be an oat milk latte. ‘All I got was a spinning wheel and some pop-up ads for reverse mortgages.’

Team media coordinator Barry Flanagan described the ordeal as ‘an unending cycle of Google Chrome crashes and self-reflection.’ He added, ‘Honestly, at this point, we’re considering switching to MySpace bulletins for interviews.’

ESPN producer Linda Krupke expressed optimism for the future. ‘If we can’t get Caleb on Zoom next week, we’ll send carrier pigeons. At least those have a 50% success rate.’

Despite the media storm, Williams threw for 212 yards and one touchdown, a performance he later described as ‘buffering, but promising.’