BEIJING—In a bold escalation of global tech tensions, the Chinese government announced Monday it would launch a sweeping cybersecurity investigation into snack aisles across the nation after confusing Micron Technology, a leading US memory chip producer, with a similarly named brand of potato chips found at convenience stores.

The move comes amid rising hostilities over semiconductor exports, with the Cyberspace Administration of China (CAC) vowing to “leave no chip—be it memory or barbecue-flavored—unexamined.”

“China cannot risk allowing foreign chips, whether they store data or delicious artificial flavoring, to undermine our national security,” said CAC spokesperson Lin Guo, flanked by a stack of half-eaten Lay’s bags and a broken hard drive. “Those ridges could be hiding just about anything.”

Investigators have already seized thousands of packages of salt-and-vinegar chips at customs, believing them to contain encrypted firmware. “I bit into one and almost choked on a kernel. Could be spyware,” reported cybersecurity analyst Hu Tao. “We’re not taking any chances.”

Micron Technology CEO Delaney Cramer expressed confusion about the probe: “We don’t recommend eating our products, but if this is about barbecue flavoring, that’s a bold new direction for export controls.”

In related news, China announced it would also screen all future Pringles shipments for signs of 5G technology, just in case.