Just days before Christmas, Americans nationwide are breathing a collective sigh of relief after discovering they can avoid levels of holiday disgrace typically reserved for public urination and fruitcake regifting—simply by purchasing the Beats Studio Pro headphones, now discounted to the irresistible price of $149.99 at Best Buy.

The two-year-old headphones, which experts say have seen more birthdays than most House Representatives, are being heralded as a “lifesaver for people who value family relationships over cutting-edge tech,” according to retail psychologist Dr. Becky Fumble. “These are perfect for anyone who wants to buy love at 57% off,” she remarked, smoothing out a crumpled gift receipt.

Procrastinators like Jared Pullman, 32, genuinely believe the sale is a miracle. “I spent three weeks researching headphones and zero weeks shopping for them,” Pullman admitted. “Now I can listen to my mom ask why I’m still single, crystal clear in lossless quality.”

While critics note that the design is “painfully familiar,” Best Buy spokesman Greg Static issued a statement reassuring customers. “Yes, you might look like you’re cosplaying as a 2012 Apple commercial, but you’ll save $200. That’s enough to buy nearly four MagSafe chargers for your relatives who you believe still need more chargers.”

Demand is so high that retailers are now offering a handy shopping bag with the words ‘This Was Supposed to Be a New Year’s Gift’ pre-printed for convenience. As one shopper put it: “If my cousin can’t appreciate a deal this good, maybe she really does deserve that $5 Target candle instead.”