BURBANK, CA—The Walt Disney Company has officially tapped Josh D’Amaro, current Chairman of Disney Parks and unofficial champion of churro consumption, to succeed Bob Iger as CEO in 2026, as part of an ancient succession ritual rumored to involve fireworks, a talking mouse, and a secret underground tunnel beneath Epcot.

Insiders say the decision came after an extensive search, during which candidates were evaluated on their ability to smile through shareholder calls, recite the script for the Jungle Cruise ride under pressure, and pose with people dressed as anthropomorphic ducks. “Josh really impressed us by singing ‘Let It Go’ in three different languages while balancing a tray of souvenir popcorn buckets,” said Disney Board Member Clarabelle Cow in a Tuesday press release.

Rumors had swirled around fellow contenders, including ESPN chairman Jimmy Pitaro, who reportedly lost out after failing the ‘Believes in Magic’ polygraph test. Meanwhile, Disney Entertainment co-chair Dana Walden allegedly disqualified herself by admitting she preferred Universal Studios’ butterbeer.

D’Amaro, who began his Disney career in 1998 as the guy who occasionally reset animatronics when they started speaking Latin, expressed gratitude for the honor: “I look forward to guiding Disney through the next era of synergy, nostalgia, and live-action remakes of last year’s live-action remakes.”

Plans for the official handover involve Iger bequeathing the ceremonial oversized Mickey gloves and a personalized FastPass to D’Amaro. “He’s earned it,” said outgoing CEO Iger, adding, “Anyone willing to eat park turkey legs for 28 years deserves a shot at the big chair.”