BRUSSELS—Despite the United States’ recent release of a policy paper explicitly endorsing Europe’s far-right nationalist parties, European Union officials have confirmed that America remains “our biggest ally,” noting that everyone makes questionable decisions when they move in with new friends.

“Of course we noticed the US showing up at rallies in a MAGA hat and tweeting in all caps about sovereignty,” said EU foreign policy chief Kaja Kallas at a press conference on Saturday. “But we’re not worried. America’s just experimenting. We all went through a phase.”

The US National Security Strategy, unveiled Friday by the Trump administration, called for increased support of “the most emotionally available nationalist movements” across Europe, adding that “shared values like flag-waving, shouting, and a deep suspicion of foreigners unite us more than ever.” The document went on to recommend that US diplomats be “encouraged to make friendship bracelets for Marine Le Pen, Giorgia Meloni, and that one guy in Hungary whose name no one can remember.”

European leaders remain unperturbed. “It’s just a policy paper,” shrugged French President Emmanuel Macron. “The Americans do this every few years, usually after watching too many political thrillers. Next week they’ll be back to sending us oversized eagles for Bastille Day.”

A US State Department spokesperson, speaking from a monster truck rally, clarified, “Our fundamental commitment to democracy stands—provided it comes with a large side of border fences and at least three anti-globalist memes per day. We see this as the future of transatlantic partnership.”

As ever, the EU confirmed the alliance is still strong and, if anything, has been ‘red-pilled’ for the modern era.