U.S. shoppers were gripped by financial euphoria today as Best Buy boldly slashed the price of Pokémon Legends: Z-A by an astonishing $14, prompting thousands to reconsider their retirement strategies and declare themselves ‘professional bargain hunters.’ The game, for Switch 2, now retails for $55.99—making it nearly affordable for those who have already spent $500 on limited-edition Pikachu Joy-Cons and emotionally damaging preorders.

Lines began forming outside Best Buy locations at 3 a.m., with consumers desperate to secure the once-in-a-lifetime markdown. ‘This is history,’ whispered self-described discount enthusiast Grayson Templeton, clutching a folding chair and thermos in subzero temperatures. ‘My grandfather told me legends of the Great Toaster Sale of 1985, but this is bigger. This is Pokémon.’

Inside, sales associates valiantly struggled to explain the differences between Switch and Switch 2 cartridges to confused parents, most of whom left with three unrelated phone chargers and a vague sense of dread. ‘I guess my kid can use this in something called a ‘GameSphere’ now?’ said bewildered mother Linda Bartlett. ‘They said I also need a MagGo Qi2 puck and four AirTags just in case.’

Economists have taken note. ‘The Pokémon Z-A price drop may single-handedly reverse inflation,’ claimed financial analyst Drew McMillen. ‘If every product slashes $14, the economy could reach utopian levels of stability. Or at least, we’ll all have too many games to notice.’

As of press time, Pokémon Legends: Z-A had already sold out online while enterprising scalpers offered the discounted game for $113 on eBay, plus shipping.